You want to be heard? If you listen, they hear you. How is this possible? I’m glad you asked! People are more concerned with themselves or their own problems than they are with you and your problems. Dale Carnegie said, “A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people.” As Ray Higdon told me, “Every living soul wants to feel important.” So why not take advantage of that by being attentive? When a person is talking, if you pay close attention and show that you are truly interested in what he or she is saying, you have just made a friend.
Friends listen to each other. If a person feels you are a friend, more than likely, he or she will confide in you. A friend will trust you with a secret and not hide his or her thoughts from you. But how do you get to this point? You must ask the right questions to get them to talk about themselves, such as activities they enjoy. People love talking about themselves, and they love when other people are interested in listening.
A young man at my church said he liked my haircut. When he asked me who cut my hair, I told him I go to the barber shop near my home. I gave him the name and address of the shop. Afterwards, I asked him who cut his hair. He said he did it himself and that he cuts the hair of several men who also attend our church. He didn’t really want to know who cut my hair. Rather, he wanted me to know he was a barber. He had to ask the right questions, listen and show interests, so I would hear what he had to say.
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